Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
