you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
