If i come over, it means nothing
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
