Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
