at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
