But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm passing your future prison.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
