Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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