Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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