maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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