It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
