Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
