Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
