i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
