I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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