I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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