I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
