i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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