He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize