so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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