stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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