I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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