i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
