Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
