the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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