don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
