I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
