Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
