I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
