Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
