and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
