I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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