y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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