After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
