all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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