i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
