Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
