Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
