Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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