it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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