I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
