But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
