1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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