I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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