Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
