I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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