shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
