We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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