I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
