I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
