it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
