I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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