youre lurking in front of me
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
